My friend Sara had a baby after 40. She said she almost felt badly for her friends who had had babies right away since such a fuss was made over her. People had more time and more disposable income. Choices like babies seem luxurious and worthy of celebration.
The same holds true with weddings.People have been so incredibly generous and excited about the wedding. Most of my friends are around my age and they know who they are and what they like to do. “Let me!” They have said. For once, who knows why, I was able to say, “Thank you!” instead of “Oh, no, I couldn’t.”
A girlfriend is making my wedding dress. What an unbelievable gift. I knew I wanted to be married in black velvet – it’s what I look good in, white was never going to be flattering. Together with another girlfriend we shopped for a pattern and agreed what was going to make me look majestic and wonderful. Linda adores clothes. She should have grown up in a big city where she would have been working in a couture house. Instead she’s living in a small town, making couture clothes. And now she’s making the dress I’ve cared most about in my life for me. What could be sweeter?
Nancy is doing my nails. Michele is giving me cranial sacral treatments (believe me she had her work cut out for her… my jaw is NOT going to unclench, I’m in charge!). JoAnne gave me make-up. (I was skeptical, but it was great!) Cynthia organized tea dances for Steve and me so that we could figure out our dance.
Not only were these things incredibly generous gifts, they were fun. I knew people were excited about my wedding. I was excited about what I was going to be giving them. I’m spending wonderful time with women I love and we’re sharing our lives.
The Tea Dances were wonderful. As I’ve said, my Sweet Pea is a drummer. So he knows a lot about keeping a beat. He knows a lot about keeping people moving to the music. But since the age of 11, he’s been behind the drums. He has severe neuropathy in his feet, so he was worried about his balance.
He’s an amazing dancer. Cynthia and Lamont had their friends over who are incredible dancers. So there we were in their living room, high on a ridge over a wonderful valley, dancing the afternoon away. And then sitting drinking coffee and tea and eating sweet things as we chatted about weddings and music and friendship.
People will want to celebrate with you. Why not let them?
I’m entitled to it. You’re entitled to it. And we both deserve it.
Because love is lovelier, (and so will you be!)