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Marriage Planning – Celebrating Hanukkah

Well, zoom, the week goes by. It’s the Sabbath and Day 7 of Hanukkah. And a great time to have that premarital discussion: What are we going to do about our spiritual life and religious traditions anyway?

WP thinks there’s a great deal to be gained from honoring holiday traditions. (She also works very hard to have friends from all traditions so there are taste treats to be delighted in from all over the world! Oh, right, this is about YOU!) Celebrations and metaphors are good things to have! It’s also good to have a soundtrack, so don’t forget to download MamaDoni — cause you know you’re going to want to give CDs for Hanukkah Presents next year! And go look for Lights: Celebrate Hanukkah Live in Concert.

  • Are you from the same traditions? How will that be reflected in your married life?
  • What Holidays will you celebrate?
  • At whose house: yours, mine or ours?
  • How observant will you be?
  • How involved in a religious community do you want to be?
  • What tradition were you raised in, do you feel comfortable in, would you like to pursue?
  • What’s the most important thing about your religious heritage?

Tip: what is really important in creating successful marriages is agreement. If you guys can agree on what you want to celebrate, that will be really helpful. Now is a good time to talk (now when there’s no pressure) about how you expect to raise children should you decide you want to have them. I want to encourage you to figure this out, try it on, make a few mistakes. It’s good to have traditions. They help form a framework for thinking things through. “I like this, I hate that” are good things to know as you encounter the problems and challenges that even your wonderful relationship will have.