Here’s the 4th day’s consideration of why we write wedding vows and what you want in your vows:
It’s important that your strengths and those areas needing support have been carefully considered as you crafted your promises to one another.
What strengths and talents you bring to these goals? What are your individual strengths? And what are the areas in which you join to make a very competent couple? Know yourself, yourselves and your marriage. Too often we focus on the weaknesses, and simply pass over our strengths. But hey! PAY ATTENTION! not everyone is good at those things. Celebrate a little and keep building on your strengths!
Where will you need support? not every couple is going to be good at every area of marriage. Some may matter less. Some you may think are really important. So how are you going to develop those skills? People who seem to think that it’s perfectly normal to read a recipe to make a cake or find someone to teach them to, I don’t know, change the oil in their car, balk at finding someone to teach them marital skills. (Not that cake-baking and oil-changing might not be marital skills! oh if only Darling Drummer or Wedding Priestess had either of those talents!) But fighting fairly and being a good steward of your finances might be more helpful to marital longevity!
Tip: Recognizing individual and collective abilities and possible breaches before you commit allows you to make promises that are possible to keep – and allows you to get help when you need it.