Integrity, Soul Mates, Marriage Vows: #2

Ah, Soul Mates. The world loves to talk about soul mates. We love to feel as if there is another person out there who, when at last we meet, will complete us.

  • Problem: We only complete ourselves. We need to be whole human beings. Our partners can be wonderful complements to who we are and incredible companions, but it’s unfair to burden them with the job of fulfilling our destiny.
  • Another Problem: I often think we look for soul mates when we’re floundering about in our problems. Anything and anyone outside our lives looks to have great answers. Hello, Governor Sanford, I’m talking to you.
  • And one last problem: If we determine that a particular person is our soul mate, the minute something goes wrong, we have to demonize them. And infatuation causes us to see only the grand things. Living day-by-day causes us to see the whole person, who however wonderful, is always going to squeeze the toothpaste from the middle, or something equally annoying.

I’ll ponder for a while about whether I think we become soul mates, or whether we might just as well find a new term to describe a beloved partner with whom we’ve grown into accord. Wow, I know, how about beloved partner?

Tip: Am I crazy? what do you think? write and let me know!

2 thoughts on “Integrity, Soul Mates, Marriage Vows: #2

  1. I don’t believe in soul mates. I think you can connect with certain people more than others and then it is all what you make of it. I hate that “you complete me” craze that happened after the Jerry Maguire movie came out. You are so right about that! Mind you this is coming from a gal who squeezes the toothpaste from the middle and I have a husband that has gotten over it. He does not believe in soul mates either. Beloved partners, that we are!

  2. I never used to believe in “movie love” or “soul mates” till I turned 34. After a failed marriage and two children and many heartaches I was reconnected with a childhood acquaintance. This man and I had crossed paths all through out our lives never establishing anything more than a casual hello or glance or introduction with common friends. When I was 28 I had actually spent a matter of 15-20 minutes in his company while I was having lunch with his good friend, whom I was dating at the time. I remember feeling drawn to him for his charismatic nature and sense of passion about life…I remember making a mental note to myself that this was the type of person I should be dating…and then 6 years passed by…
    I happen to see his name on a social networking site and that we had 50 mutual friends, I decided to request his add. I began a casual thread of conversation about our mutual love of music and this thread literally lasted over a year with no physical contact because we lived 6 yours away from each other.
    When I moved back to my hometown i was 30 minutes away from him, I decided to ask him to go see a Hockey game with our children, he accepted. Now our friendship was based on our mutual love for music, and the common friends we had with each other but never before could I ever imagine how much more we connected after one night of Hockey with our kids. We were both very spiritual minded with a very strong religious background that we spent years trying to forget. We both parented our children the same way and wanted to travel…to the same places…we had so many things in common. It was like I met myself in male form…:) If I had been a man, my like would have been his exactly.
    So we decided to stay “friends only” for months after that…both not wanting to risk ruining a friendship over physical attraction. He was dead set against anything more developing since I had dated one of his good buddies 6 years earlier. I was dead set against anything if it meant later losing his friendship.
    I will never forget the night when the energy was so thick between us…..there was only us….in that moment…and we both knew we were made specifically for one another. I was made for all his desires as he was for mine. I never believed I deserved this kind of love till I met him. Soul mates are real….you may never experience meeting yours in this lifetime….but I hope you do. I hope and wish everyone could experience what I feel everyday