When I was in Sweden, I saw a fun and funny wedding shower going on. The bride and her bridesmaids were on the street selling kisses. They were easily identifiable as a group: all had on the same green t-shirts and the bride had a veil on.
They had contacted a charity and were gathering money for the charity. It was very fun and for a very good cause. People were completely appropriate with the bride and her buddies. It was also completely unknown to me as a concept.
Tip: Do something fun and different for a wedding shower for your dear friend and generate a little money for a good cause!
Even though red wines can be fatal to a white dress, if you take care, you can avoid mishaps. (Because you really don’t want to add a Tide Pen† to your wedding ritual!)
Talk about your differences and your similarities and how in this marriage they are blending together as they have in this fabulous wine you have chosen for today’s ritual. You might want to talk about the tastes and what each represents and the role it plays in making the relationship (and the wine!) great. (Check out the video for some pointers on finding the right red wine!)
Tip: Choose a wine that pleases you, design your ceremony around it and invite your community to toast your long life at the reception with this wonderful wine.
The image you chose as a metaphor
8. should support the wedding vows you are making.
You don’t need to have it in the vows, but the picture the image offers helps everyone to understand why you are offering those specific promises.
Your vows should be written from your strengths, values and talents. They should shore up those areas of your relationship that are not perhaps inately your best talents. Your metaphor should help everyone envision the work you are undertaking. It should be a talisman throughout the years to remind you of the work you are doing… and the joy you have in making these commitments.
Tip: The stronger the identification you can make with a metaphor, and the more frequently the image appears in your life, the more support it will offer your marriage. It will also remind your community to support you whenever they see the image show up and they make the connection to your promises to one another.
Metaphors work best
6. When there is an activity that accompanies it.
Food you eat, things you plant, water you spill out. These allow the image to settle in more deeply.
The more common the images, the more they will be reinforced in our daily lives. The more they’re reinforced in our daily lives, the greater the meaninng they will have in our marriages.
Tip: choose a metaphor to describe your love that can be reinforced with a small activity. Use it in your wedding ceremony. For 3 weeks afterwards, do the action and think of the way you love one another. There you are, with your love for one another sealed into the sharing of bread, for the rest of your life.
What else is going to make a metaphor able to support you as time goes on?
5. The image should be comfortable.
You want an image that will settle into your hearts and psyches and provide an a continual glow to renew your connection with your wedding day.
Metaphors that work are simple, attractive and don’t unsettle you. They should invite you. If your love is like a warm blanket, then every time you and your beloved get into bed and pull a particular blanket up over you, perhaps a coverlet you received as part of your wedding gifts, you’re reinforcing the image you generated at your wedding. All of the blessings of the marriage bed are in that simple action of pulling up the covers.
Tip: Find an image to use that will serve you into the life of your marriage. Choose a metaphor that will become more rather than less comfortable. Something that will wear in, rather than out, as it gets more use.