The Wedding Priestess has been walking around mulling this over in her head. The only reason Smart Girls Marry Money by Ford and Drake is interesting is that we’re looking at an institution gone wrong. Most of us would hesitate before an operation with only a 50 percent survival rate, particularly if our chances of muddling through without it were so-so as well.
But we often don’t think before we marry about how we’re going to make this relationship work. Hey, I’m a geezer babe, supposedly full of wisdom, and I never thought about this. Steve’s and my marriage is odder than most in the way we have arranged our money and our marriage.
But money matters. We’re finding that out as everyone hits the recession. You have to plan wisely for your family. Even wise planning doesn’t always help, but planning helps better than no planning. How are the two of you going to provide for your family? And by family, read that not only as your darling babes and their college educations, but also as your retirement. Money is one of those things that breaks marriages up, and guess what, when you break up a marriage, money doesn’t get easier and the fighting doesn’t stop. Particularly if there are children. So, not so helpful.
Tip: This is one of those things that you can talk about. This is one of those things you should talk about. Plan for your future. Because whether or not you do, it’s coming. Sometimes it’s better to plan.
Wedding Priestess offers you her sincerest congratulations! You’re a good enough friend of the bride and/or groom that you’ve been invited to make a toast. There’s nothing sweeter than to be able to tell a friend publicly how much you love and admire them. We don’t do this often enough, publicly or privately. This is a big deal. So let me make it all easier for you: Here’s a quick 3-part series that will make it all flow easily for you: Before you start building the toast, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- It should be short. No, really short.
- It should be complimentary. No “funny” horror stories.
- It should thank them for the honor of representing their community and being their friend.
- It should be about the bride and groom and not about you. Talk about why they’re good candidates for this wonderful relationship and right for each other.
- It always ends with a toast to their future. Wish them the best life possible. (and they say you should always toast with alcohol!)
Tip: Offering your friends respect, encouragement and well-wishes is an art form we would all do well to cultivate. Let’s not let it die! Let’s figure it out and knock the ball out of the park. You do look so much cuter when you’re delivering a heartfelt message, so why not do something wonderful and have it reflect well on you – forever!
Don’t overlook the simple but elegant solution: #10. Make it: I had friend do this for me. The dress was perfect for me and I looked stunning. Now, I know a lot of people so my odds are greater of knowing someone. But if I could find someone in nowhere Pennsylvania who did not just sewing, but design, my guess is you might too! And with a little work on Google or even a (gasp) phonebook, you could find someone.
Tip: What’s great about this is that you get to select the fabrics and the pattern. So everything is just perfect. And sometimes, if you do it with a friend, it’s an incredible amount of fun!
The New and Different #9. Rented: Yep. Renting. It’s not just for tuxes anymore. And they have to dry clean it! Some people are just too sentimental for this.
Tip: go read Elizabeth Oake’s article on this!
The Daring #8: Shared: I’ve only found this once. But if I’ve encountered it, it’s been done before and since. Someone actually advertised and found someone her own size and taste and they bought a gown together. They didn’t know one another and were getting married a few months apart. Could have been tragic, if bride number one had had spaghetti for her wedding meal, but bride number two had another option up her sleeve if that tanked! More common is someone you know has a dress, and is willing to lend it to you.
Tip: Think outside the box here. There are lots of ways to share dresses with people if you just think a bit about it! This makes the entire experience much cheaper!