No, Really, Carry a Fan, Not a Bouquet at Your Winter Wedding!

I’d done some research about fans for my column over on (you can find this by scrolling down and checking out the right hand column). I’d started thinking about fans as something to carry at winter weddings when flowers are, shall we say, scarce!

There are lots of fun things to do with fans. Victorian women (of the leisure class, which would leave a lot of us without a feather to flutter) had an entire language of fans. It doesn’t seem like a bad idea to excavate some of the language of flirtation to start having more fun in your play life with your partner.

I’d seen some fairly jeweled and ornamental fans and admired them. But now I’m totally in love. Isn’t this gorgeous? Wouldn’t it have looked fabulous against my black velvet wedding dress? How about against your white satin one? Flowers, they’re so summer!

you can find lots of fun ways to use this over at

Tip: Go ahead and play at your wedding. Look your best and have a good time.

Give up the Holidays Fraught with Tension

Are you dreading the thanksgiving dinner with all the family dynamics?


It’s just food and family. There’s nothing more wonderful.

If there’s too much tension going on, dial it back. Dial back your expectations of the meal, dial back everyone’s contributions.

Are you prone to the “if i don’t have this side-dish, it’s not Thanksgiving” syndrome? Remember that you can make side dishes another day. You can visit other families another weekend. Don’t consign thanksgiving/Thanksgiving to a single date. Eat and be happy with the people you love. And if you can’t be there, set up the camera and skype. Let your families be together, wherever they are!

Tip: consider making Thanksgiving a celebration for which you are grateful. Beautiful table settings, family recipes, family time — these are not things we have too much of in our lives. So instead of thinking about the possible horrors, move into pollyanna mode (anyone remember who she was?) and start being grateful. Have a blessed day, my friends! (and here’s a NY Times article about what you can learn from Turkey Day at home.)

Add Halloween wisdom to your Wedding

So what’s with the broom and witches? And what’s with the broom and weddings?

So glad you asked! Brooms and witches, today, brooms and hearths tomorrow.

In certain wedding traditions, women wielding brooms walk before the wedding couple, brushing obstacles from their paths. They were often elders in the village, women who knew how to ease the stones away without creating a large amount of dust.

Tip: Why not have a wisdom shower? Ask your bridesmaids (or go ahead and do it yourself) to ask all the women over 50 to give you advice about marriage, creating a home, being a great woman. It’s a book you’ll treasure forever.

Occasional Whimsey: Wedding Priestess Gets Wacky!

Remember I said I felt as if I’d lost my whimsey. Well, I think these pants will speak to my hard-core, rediscovered whimsical diva. Saturday evening, I attacked a piece of fabric. these pants were the results. I was worried originally about length… I was wrong! TONIGHT’S pants won’t have that problem (hopefully) but they’ll be far more demure! (“exactly like the Wedding Priestess,” she says, coyly!)

Luckily, no seamstress can see closely enough to see the oopsies! It makes a nice break from article writing. My girlfriend Jeanie who took these photos, said, didn’t you make a top from that fabric. 1) I promise never to wearthem together. 2) not everyone is as observant as she is. 2) just think of me as your own individual von trapp family raiding the curtains. (and who coulda lived with these curtains!)

Tip: Always have a good time, except when you can’t!

Dee n me in front of Jean Weston's Fabulous Quilt (we're going to raffle it off!)

Ann n Dee in front of Jean Weston’s Fabulous Quilt. We’ll be raffling that off!