Wedding Song: What to do with it!

There are so many places to use your wedding song to enhance your wedding day once you’ve chosen the perfect songs. What you’ll need is a/some musician(s) with some versatility. (Or if you’re using a dj, you might want a song that was done by several different artists so that you have some options for what feel you want when.) Otherwise, you’ll want to have the song reset for each of these:

At your wedding ceremony:  Walk down the aisle to your song. Or listen to it while you light a unity candle or exchange rings. Ask your celebrant to talk about why this song makes sense in your life. You can have someone sing it or have it played as an instrumental. Read the words as poetry. Use it to enhance the wedding ceremony and your wedding vows. Start your community connecting the song with your choice to share your lives.

At the cocktail hour: Have the song played as you’re introduced. Chose a different setting of the song, maybe jazzy or soft. Don’t talk about it here; let the reinforcement be subliminal.

Later, at the reception: Dance to your song as your first dance. It’s time for the full on version. All the words; all the flare: everything that will make your dance a magical moment.

Tip: Find your song, use it every time you can at your wedding. Then keep playing it. Every time you hear it it will take you back to everything it meant to be marrying your beloved.

Don’t Have a Special Song? Find One!

So, if you talked over the song thing and no one song emerged as your courting favorite, why not be more deliberate about it?

What if, after working on your reasons for marrying and the promises you would make to form the bedrock of your marriage, you chose a song to celebrate those values and those promises? What if you used it throughout the day to deepen your community’s association (and your own) of your marriage with those qualities? The way our brains work, when you hear that song later, forever after, you will recall how you felt when you married and deepen the connection between the two of you.

Tip: Choose a song that’s really about you and then use it throughout the entire ceremony. The wonderful thing about music is that it can be varied. So, if a song is played by different musicians, or in a different style, you’re suggesting rather than hitting people over the head with it. You don’t want to get too obvious with this. You want to be able to hear it again. And you want to choose it together!

Wedding Song: get it right!

Whatever happened to the notion of a couple’s having a song? Back in the day, you had your song. You’d listened to it when you were courting. You’d danced to it. You’d danced to it at your wedding. When the band asked for requests, you always asked for it and then you danced. Did you know that that’s an excellent way to reinforce the love you felt on the day you married? Every time you take your partner’s hand and gaze into his or her eyes, you go back in time. You go back to when you first got together. You go back to your wedding day. You go back and then you bring forward the memories and the love and that makes marriages better.

Is it because we do so much parallel play these days, each of us with our ipods on full tilt boogie that we don’t have a song that we’ve listened to together? Wedding Priestess decries Continue reading

Singing Your Life: Anna Huckabee Tull

What a wonderful idea! Anna Huckabee Tull, a psychologist and an award winning songwriter, will write and record a song to be played at your wedding about your great love affair and romance. Anna has a natural gift for cutting straight to the meaningful center of feelings, emotions, and stories. “When I bring someone’s song to life,” she says, “my job is to capture not only everything they ARE saying, but everything they AREN’T saying, as well. That’s where the magic lies.”

You can’t always see what is wonderful and special about your love. You don’t always do the work to articulate the values that underlie it. And quite frankly, you don’t always get encouraged to dig deep and then celebrate the gold you uncover.

At a point in time, where most weddings are focused on the receptions and the clothing, there’s not a lot of encouragement to give a shout out about how this sweet love transforms you and why you want to allow it the opportunity to continue to transform the two of you. You’re not only having a wedding, you’re building a marriage together.

And here comes Anna with her wonderful idea, Custom Crafted Songs. She’ll spend 1-2 hours interviewing you, in person or on the phone. (Important: the price is worked out before you start the inteview!) She says that everyone knows when the kernel of truth is found. She’ll then send you a rough cut to listen to. You’ll tinker and fine tune together. And then she goes into the studio. Shortly, you’ll receive a studio recorded cd with a custom cover built from photos or your invitation or any other idea or image that moves you or represents the two of you. You get a lyric sheet. She even supplies coaching on the best presentation for your song. That process takes 3-6 weeks. How wonderful!

She’s a well-established artist with 5 national cds and more than 100 commissions to her credit. A song with carefully crafted metaphors will enrich your marriage long beyond your wedding day. Both the music and the metaphors work on you to reinforce the love and the values behind it. This is definitely a song to slip into your random playlist forever after! If it’s got a dance beat and you’ve used it for your first dance, your footsteps will trace that love deep into your heart. And then you’ll find yourself moving in that old familiar way whenever you hear it. You’ll be loving one another in song!

This is a great present to give one another for the holidays. Imagine a present that causes you to work together, talk deeply about your love and plan your happily ever after. How great is that? It’s a great present to give to a couple you know, whether for them to do the work, or for you to offer them as a present at the rehearsal dinner. Moms and Dads: Imagine collaborating on a song about your kids with your soon-to-be in-laws. Guaranteed to engender respect and form connections!

Anna’s taken something that seems impossible and makes it not only possible but magical. It’s a great holiday gift, but you know, it’s a great gift period. And you cannot imagine what this could do for your wedding ceremony and wedding vows.

Go to her site and hear some samples and read the back stories.

Tip: If you’re going to talk to her, Wedding Priestess wants you to do your homework before you call her.
What did you love about one another when you met that still makes your heart turnover?
What is your dream for your marriage?
What are the values at the heart of that dream?
What are the promises you’ll make to one another that will work to make that dream come true?

Your Holiday Wedding:
Holiday Music – Don’t Overdo

The Holidays are fast approaching and so might be your wedding! I really like the contrasts of this season. Icy cold outside and warm and cozy inside. Dark and gloomy outside, festive lights and candles inside. Oh, and good foods!

Music is one of the really great things at a wedding and a great way for people to have fun. You may want to use some holiday music, or even have a piano bar thing happen at your reception with seasonal songs. But limit the songs when it comes time to dance or even just to listen. The wedding is about your marriage, and marriage isn’t seasonal. (at least not in that way!)

Tip: Make sure that your DJ or Band Leader knows you need a mix of music. I know at least one bandleader who has gotten stuck on holiday and pretty soon you think you’re listening to that musak track. NOT what you want people to say about the wedding! So, salt the music with a good mix and a few fabulous favorite holiday tunes! It’s rare that you go wrong with Elvis!