Patty Potter Fichett, wise woman, wrote these words from Stephen Sondheim on her FB page yesterday:
It’s hobbies you pursue together, savings you accrue together, looks you misconstrue together that make marriage a joy….
It struck me as useful advice — advice you don’t want to postpone following. These things don’t only make marriage a joy, they make it a marriage. Togetherness is the goal of your marriage.
That’s why it’s really dangerous to have only one person doing all the wedding planning. Plan your wedding and your marriage together. Wedding planning is a great crucible for forging a working partnership. A wedding isn’t the “bride’s special day,” it’s the event that moves you from engaged to married and celebrates that transition with your friends.
Tip: Want to build the best marriage possible? Start working together at the very beginning… and then share the laughter and the tears that accrue through a lifetime of living into that sharing!
I get this question all the time. And my answer is always: far less than you think.
During the wedding ceremony, you want people to be paying attention to the wedding ceremony. If people have reading material in their hands, they will pay attention to that. Guaranteed. So, what belongs there?
- Names of Participants
- Order of Service
Tip: Leave anything else out for post wedding handouts. You were wondering how to get your cousin’s niece involved anyway!
There are lots of seasonal metaphors that Autumn offers a wedding couple. I’ll share some of them with you this week.
But the fact is the season also good for “harvesting” all the research you’ve done over the long hot summer. There’s nothing like a cold snap to give you the energy to get things accomplished. So, even though we’re all whiny because we are loosing warmth and light, get organized and get going. This season has arrived to gavanize you in your wedding planning! (kudos to © 2007 Christy L. Varonfakis for this beautiful photo!)
I’ve been writing a series over on http://articlesbyann.com about planning your wedding cheaply. The thing I keep stressing in that series is that you can change what you do and how you think about your budget when you focus on meaning rather than money.
In today’s great examiner.com article, Elizabeth Oakes rues the mass purchasing weddings. She asks whether you really save money and reminds us that these weddings require a far greater time commitment of brides and grooms. Always amusing, (really, read her, follow her over there.) she points out that you often get exactly what you paid for. Another thing I never have understood about weddings is why everyone wants their weddings to be exactly like the next one. Warehouse weddings offer way too many possibilities for that.
Tip: There are lots of good ways to cut costs at weddings. Some of them include not doing some of the “musts” at weddings. (Never saw a reception that wasn’t impoved by skipping the expensive garter toss!) But here are a couple things to consider.
- Make a wedding budget, figure out where you want to spend your money and stick to it. So much of wedding cost is over-run.
- Simplify your wedding notions. What are you really trying to accomplish here? And you know what, there’s nothing that says you can’t have a great party at some other point in your life. Gather your friends on a frequent basis, it’ll make your marriage better and it’ll be a lot of fun.
- Shift from money to meaning. Create a fabulous wedding ceremony and great wedding vows. Now people are there for the celebration and not the party and that’s a good thing.
Marriages do better when supported by a community. Your community came to your wedding wanting to celebrate and support your wedding vows and your marriage. This relationship that is so perfect for you deserves to be celebrated.
Tip: So give your community a chance and they will give you all the support you could ever want. Check back tomorrow for the beginning of some pointers on how you can use different segments of your wedding to build the support you want.